The twins turned 10 on March 27th. They had a birthday party. It was a sleepover, with a bunch of friends from school. Two of their friends, Enrique and his little brother, came in carrying McDonald Happy Meal boxes. I found it odd, but said nothing. Ten minutes after their arrival, my oldest son came to me and said, “They have a hamster in there.”

Are you kidding me?! What kind of kid brings their pet hamster to a birthday party?

Turns out it was a gift. Not a pet. A… gift. And it was a guinea pig, not a hamster.  And Franny, who loves animals, was delighted. Trying not to panic, I remembered our old hamster cage, and hoped that there were enough accessories to use in a pinch. I had just gotten the piggy settled, when out came piggy number Two. Apparently the kind boys brought a guinea pig for each of the twins. Two was Sal’s, Uno is Franny’s. I realized then what the McDonald boxes had contained.

Shortly after that day, Franny was hit by a car and everything seemed to be upside down. Then Two died, and Uno survived. Sal was not upset, as Sal never really took to the pig, and doesn’t exactly care for animals.

Uno became progressively fatter. We thought maybe she was depressed after losing her buddy (who was also female, we were told). But in the past week, I’ve started to think that she’s not just fat, she has a distinct… look to her.

So I googled “pregnant guinea pigs” and found this, which looks strikingly similar to Uno:

I’m not positive, but I’m getting to the point where every time I look in her cage I’m expecting to see more than just her.