Category: Family Time

I Miss Everybody… Even When They Are Here

- Groovy Mom 2 Comments

Too many changes in too short of a time span. Still adjusting. Letting the dust settle.

Last year, after 20-some years of living in Madison, my parents retired and moved 4 hours away. I knew it was coming. I tried to prepare myself, but did a better job of keeping myself in denial. I mean, really. Could my parents really (really) move hours and hours away from me/us? Me? The kids? The city? Me? It didn’t seem possible.

It was. It is. They are happier than ever and remind me of how much they are enjoying themselves.

The hardest part of them being gone would be the face-to-face conversations. Phones don’t capture a conversation for me. Email.. no, but I do like getting emails from my parents. The lost art of writing. But phones (especially cellphones, which we are both using) lag, stick and delete parts of the conversation making it awkward, messy. My parents don’t know how to Facetime, and if they did it would be similar to those cellphone conversations.

I miss them. Not only were my parents close to us (you could hop on the bus three houses down from us, ride it to their part of town and get off of it three houses down from their house – no transfer), but they were close to the kid’s school. Many times I would stop in for coffee or a quick chat while I waited for the boys to be done with wrestling/soccer/whatever. I’ve driven by their house on occasion, those evenings when I would have normally pulled up and walked right in. It makes my heart ache a bit. Truly ache. That’s a real term.

Then I have my college son. That was a whole new adjustment. Still is. There are people that squeal with glee when their kids reach this age – old enough to send off to the dorms. And then there are those who go through (literally) stages of greif, sadness, depression. I… well, I wasn’t squealing. I am happy for him, I am. But I really had to be honest with myself on how I was feeling. My oldest left the house for different reasons. I went through similar feelings then. It got better. This has gotten better.

But it’s still there.

My parents came for a visit this past week. My dad had a meeting close by, and they extended their time here to hang out with family and visit friends. They stayed in a hotel one night and with us the second night. We don’t have a big house. To stay with us, they have to take over a bedroom, and boot a boy out of it. It’s fine, it works, but it might not work for a week’s stay. I wish I had a bigger house. I’ll just put that out there. At any rate, they stayed here, but I didn’t see them too terribly much. Dinner the first night, ships passing in the night the next day. Talks over coffee the morning they departed. It was good to see them. Really good.

I had just learned that my hours might be getting (probably, inevitably) cut drastically in the new year. I tell you every time things look up for us, in comes some slam from the other side that we weren’t expecting. We will never be financially solvent. Will we ever be financially solvent? We will be financially solvent someday. We will. I have to believe that. Sorry, little mid-paragraph pep talk for meself. So, yeah, I was just a little bit shellshocked  about the whole thing, and I was glad -so glad- that my parents were here. That I could tell them some of this stuff face to face and have a real conversation with them. It’s cathartic to be able to speak with someone in the flesh, not through an electronic.

I’m so very tired of speaking with the people I love through electronic devices. (Yes I am thankful for the ability to do so, it just isn’t my preferred way.)

So, we have coffee with my parents on their departure day, then Frank and I go off to run errands, stop at Costco, the library, blablabla. All’s good, right?

Mhmmm.

I get home, begin to unload the groceries, walk into the garage, hear my dog waiting for me on the other side of the garage door, open it – and there it is. Coffee. The smell of the coffee pot, lingering in the air.

That’s all. That was it. All I needed.

I crumpled. Sobbed. Needed a hug from my husband – something I probably don’t allow myself often enough. Keeping hard, keeping moving, that’s what works sometimes.

Not that day.

I missed my mom and dad. I miss a lot of things. It’s OK to miss them as long as I don’t envelope myself in it, seal it up and stay wrapped in it forever.

 

Thankful For Weekends

- Groovy Mom Leave a comment

A lot of people are doing the “Thankful Thirty” this month, and I contemplated doing it, but frankly I don’t blog, tweet or facebook enough to manage. I suppose I could do it online in my paper journal. As I type this out, I realize I probably should simply for discipline’s sake. It is good to be thankful, to pick out the positive, and to massage the optimist within. It’s healthy.

Last weekend Frank had off. We went and watched Dante wrestle (his first ever college matches). It was an exciting, nerve-wracking experience. My heart swelled with pride, but also of longing. I miss my college-aged son. In the same breath that I “miss” each child, moments, segments of life that hang in time– I enjoy the dynamic that new life phases bring. It is exciting to watch my older two young adults take on life, figuring out who they are. A bleeding, swelling heart. Again, I am pushing and pulling each and every day of my life.

Saturday was spent in the car, driving hours away to watch the matches; Sunday we took to the outdoors and explored a local spot that we’ve visited before, but always in winter.

There is a small chapel on the land that was once a farm, now a public park. The owner agreed to donate the land as long as the chapel stayed. We’ve been there many times (almost always after dark), but have never seen the chapel. The hike up brought muscles to warm on a steady incline. On a peaceful day the chapel at the top and the view surrounding would have been the first slice of fresh air on a nice trek through some very manageable paths. But on that day it was laden with Boy Scouts who were on a treasure hunt, and weekenders on the same mission as we were. Inside the chapel, a Scout poked at one of the statue’s heart (a saint) saying, “Ewww. Ugggggggggly. Look at that heart.” He checked off something on his list and they ran screaming to the overlook. Kind of killed the moment.

The chapel is small.

The boys felt our hike should have ended there. They were wrong.

Franny created his own path down the hill while the rest of us took the same route to return to the fork in the path. Sal was overly concerned that we would have search parties to find his twin brother.

We did not.

We found a spider that was definitely not indigenous to the land.

When we came to the bottom of the hill, we took another trail that we figured would take about a half hour and bring us back to the beginning. Half-way through, we came to the warming hut where we have our winter picnics. The boys were spent and wanted to head back using the familiar route. I asked them a few questions to determine that they knew where they were going, and told them to go that way and we would meet them back there. Frank and I wanted to explore new territory.

We didn’t hurry.

After walking to the lake, we were faced with going back to the car through the prairie, or to retrace our steps back through the woods. We chose the woods. I’m not much of a prairie person; I like the hills hidden in the trees.

I posted the picture below on Facebook, too. As we trotted down the hill, I heard a noise that I thought was a branch falling. But it was this man, coming up behind us with his poles. He breathed a chipper greeting when he passed, and continued on his healthy clip right past us, generating more steam as he pushed up the hill. Inspired, I challenged Frank to run up that last hill with me. He shook his head. I started, and the dog (who Frank was leading), took off behind me, forcing him to join in.

We made it.

The kids were waiting, taking in the view, some more patient than others.

I sat with Sal on the bench, and we ate our cheese sticks. I didn’t want it to end. Time is short. Every age and stage in life is different. A Sunday hike with a 13 year old is different than one with a 15 year old, as it is different with one that is over 18, or under 8. I can’t say that any is better or preferred. They are all good. They are all something to cherish.

Simple Shortbread Recipe (Super Easy)

- Groovy Mom Leave a comment

Memorial Day weekend flew by. Well, not really. I shouldn’t say that. We were out of town with the boys, and it was time nicely spent. Both Dante and Franny had state soccer tournaments for three days straight, one game a day, Saturday through Monday. Dante hasn’t played soccer all season, but stepped in with his old team to help with this tournament. Franny’s been playing with the same team ever since coming back after his leg break. Dante’s age group is all graduating, heading to college; Franny’s is splitting up. Dante most likely won’t have another game with this group, Franny has only a couple left. It was bittersweet. Though both boys would be separating from their respective teams,  instead of yukking it up with their teammates, we ended up spending most of our time together as a family.


Franny, waiting for his game.

Things are shifting, changing. Dante will be going to college next year and his brothers will miss him dearly (as will we). They know this. Darn, I’m going to get teary in a post I’m actually writing about shortbread? What the heck? But, well, it is there. It is touching that the boys, knowing they are rounding off their seasons, chose to spend time with each other over the weekend, together rather than apart. We watched their games together during the day, and caught the Brewer’s baseball series on TV during the evenings at the hotel. Not bad. Relaxing together slowed things down a bit, the weekend not being entirely rushed from field to field and event after event.

I took some pictures, but not a lot. Seems like I’m feast or famine with pictures. I’ve got thousands or I’ve got only a few. As the kids get older, and continue through these life stages, it is nice to have a camera on hand. But it is also nice to sit and savor the moment, too, without the distraction of trying to catch it on film. You can soak up the warmth of the sun on your skin, how good it felt, but you can’t adequately capture it to disk.

—–

Yesterday I spent the majority of my day baking bread and doing laundry (hanging it out to line-dry). Sunny, windy days just scream for me to hang laundry on the line. It was a rhythmic day. Load in, load out, load up, knead and stretch, knead and stretch, rising, shaping, baking, hanging, taking down… cooling off, working up to a sweat, cooling off, working up to a sweat.

I loved it.

Not wanting to figure out a meal, I took out some meatballs from the freezer (they tasted a bit better in the sauce – I’m the critic, though, everyone else liked them), threw them in the crockpot with a couple jars of sauce and called it dinner. We ate almost as soon as the boys got home. After dinner was served, they all headed off to soccer practice. I knew they would be hungry when they got home. For some reason strawberry shortcake kept coming to mind. After taking a load of towels off the lines, I ran to the store to score some heavy cream and strawberries. Instead, I made out with tilapia filets, heavy cream and a loaf of bread (I know I baked bread – don’t ask). Strawberry crates were ridiculously small, moldy and overpriced. I knew I had some frozen blueberries at home and they would do just fine.

I found a shortcake recipe online and based my recipe off of that. I say “based” because there were a few things I just had to tweak, like the entire cup full of butter the recipe calls for. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. But, skeptical at first, this recipe made a believer out of me. It was pretty easy, and everyone loved it. There is no need for Bisquick when you have an easy recipe like this.

Simple One-Bowl Shortcake
[makes 12]

Ingredients
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 stick butter [1/2 cup – cold]
2/3 cup heavy cream
1 egg, beaten

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
In a large bowl, mix flour, sugar, and baking powder. Cut butter into small cubes; add to bowl.
Cut butter into the flour with a pastry blender or two knives. I just went in there with my hands, pinching and squeezing the butter into the flour. Stir in cream and egg. Continue to knead, right there in the bowl. The dough will come together, forming a nice ball [think cookie dough]. Take large egg-sized handfuls, flatten them in your hand and place them on a parchment-lined baking sheet, leaving 2 inches in between. No need to be pretty – I made mine quite craggy and sloppy– they’re better that way! You should have 12. If some are bigger, snag a bit of a bigger one and slap it on a smaller one. Again – you don’t need to be pretty about it.
Bake in preheated oven 20 minutes, or until golden.
Enjoy!

Sorry, no pictures. We ate these warm in a bowl with berries and fresh whipped cream on top. They were yummy.

Need help with the berries?
While shortcakes are baking, take about 3 cups of frozen blueberries [or other berries – I used frozen blueberries, and mixed berries]; add to saucepan. Sprinkle with 1T sugar [or more if you’re a sweet freak]. Heat on medium-low, stirring occasionally, for 10 minutes. Turn to low to keep warm, giving them a stir with a spoon every now and then. Note: If you like a thicker sauce, you can sprinkle the berries with 1/2 T. flour in the beginning when you add the sugar.

Thanksgiving Day 1

- Groovy Mom 3 Comments

Yesterday was our first installment of Thanksgiving. My parents were in town, and we had dinner at our house (my family, brother and his wife, my parents). We have a small kitchen, but it worked. I didn’t put on a huge spread, but had all the necessities: turkey, potatoes (sweet and regular), cranberry sauce, mom’s stuffing, cornbread, pie and cranberry bread (mom’s). Oh – and beets. I like beets. Nothing to do with the traditional Thanksgiving fare, just that I like them.

I have a new favorite recipe: Grandmother’s Corn Bread

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup butter (I use 1/2 butter, 1/2 Crisco)
  • 2/3 cup white sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 cup buttermilk (I “sour” my milk stirring in 2T. white vinegar, letting the milk sit for 10 min. or so)
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 cup cornmeal
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease an 8 inch square pan. (I double this recipe and use my large cast iron skillet, which is what I melt my butter and Crisco in)
  2. Melt butter in large skillet. Remove from heat and stir in sugar. Quickly add eggs and beat until well blended. Combine buttermilk with baking soda and stir into mixture in pan. Stir in cornmeal, flour, and salt until well blended and few lumps remain. Pour batter into the prepared pan.
  3. Bake in the preheated oven for 30 to 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

The directions, to me, are a little sketchy since the eggs begin to cook in the hot butter, and it seems weird to mix in baking soda with the liquid. So, I add a little milk in with the sugar to cool it, add the eggs, quickly add the milk, and I give the dry ingredients a little stir before adding them, too. No problems and everyone likes it.

We all fit around the table, though it was a squeeze. After the food was done, the adults sat around the table a little longer to have wine, coffee, dessert and to talk.  This was the first family holiday we’ve had since my parents have retired and moved out of town. I wish I had enough space that they could have stayed with us (they stayed in a hotel), but we hardly have space for ourselves. We’ll have to figure that one out. Maybe the kids will have to squeeze in a bit better. The evening went well. Sometimes it takes a holiday to get everyone together;  I was thankful for the excuse.

It had been confusing having the kids go back to school this morning, since I’m in the mode of the holiday, feeling like we’re already into it. Not. Quite. Yet.

Thursday, Frank’s side of the family is having Thanksgiving dinner – this time at his cousin’s house. I don’t know what that will be like, but there will be chaos, excitement of the cousins running around – the norm. that we are accustomed to.

Today is my work-at-home day. I had Dante, along with Lootie, take the car to school this morning since they have a two-a-day wrestling today (morning and after school). I’m car-less, but not without plenty to do around the house. Laundry, cleaning, meal-planning… there’s always something to do. I might even walk to the store if it isn’t too cold out. We will see. Hopefully I can be productive instead of a sleepy little slug. Right now all I feel like doing is curling up on the couch and knitting.

 

Grilling Adventure

- Groovy Mom 5 Comments

I totally meant to expand on my Wordless post from yesterday, but then life and work got in the way. Well. I shouldn’t say they got in the way, like it IS life. Busy is life. This morning I got up, wasted as much time as I could trying to talk myself out of going to work out at the “Y” and finally succumbing to what I already knew: I wasn’t talking myself out of it.

Made it, did it (treadmill and bike), sweat like a pig in heat, took a shower, got my work clothes on and zoomed off to work. Did everything that needed to be done (bulletin done on a Thursday – what?!). Home. Took oldest boy freak to driver’s ED. Home. No clue what I did, then. Picked oldest boy freak up, took him to his friend’s for the night,  dropped the other freaks at “Y” for a bit, picked up Frank, got in a car accident (nobody hurt, not my fault, another entry will explain), picked up kids, got ice cream, went to Walmart. Home.

And now I write a Tell Me Thursday about my Wordless Wednesday, because, I’m just on top of things like that.

So it was just an impromptu grilling adventure. Nothing to do, but wanting – NEEDING – family time. Packed up what we had and set off to have an impromptu picnic with our grill. The main course was turkey burgers, but we also had a bagful of corn. The goal was to find a park with a permanent grill where we could cook the corn, and then we’d make the burgers on our smaller portable grill.

The boys grumbled for the first portion of our “adventure” as we drove around like blind mice looking for a permanent-grill-rendering-park. Finally I turned on the GPS, much to Frank’s disgust (he’s anti-GPS). He remembered a little park tucked away and we plugged it in. By this time, it was pretty much going to be the tucked away park or nothing, and if they didn’t have a permanent grill, we’d trash the corn.

One baseball diamond, a whole bunch of grass, long driveway, a shelter, park, horseshoes (for crimminy sake) – it was just too perfect. Oh, and – a standalone grill. Oh, and a bathroom. With soap pumps. We hadn’t been to the park in years. I was so glad we revisited it. We basically owned the park for the duration of our visit. It was great.

Frank grilled, I watched the boys beat each other up. Dinner was served, and everyone enjoyed the family time despite being initially bent on trying NOT to enjoy it and label it a completely fruity idea.

THE CORN: We put it on the grill, in the husk, over ready coals for about 30 minutes or so. I don’t mind a few darker parts. It adds to the flavor. Seriously, I could have just eaten the corn it was that good.

The boys played, ran, kicked balls, kicked each other, ate, laughed. The food was super simple and fantastically delicious. It was nice to just be alone, as a family, encapsulating some time for us together, even if only for a few hours. A mini-vacation here and there among the regularity of the days, weeks and months, doesn’t always have to be jetting off to another country or even visiting another state (a luxury that right now, we simply can’t afford). An impromptu picnic in the park does just fine.

Weekend Wrap-up

- Groovy Mom 8 Comments

Weekend Wrap-up

Busy weekend at the Groovy-Mom household. Friday night was a social night, hanging out with friends. Saturday Sal had a soccer game. They won; don’t remember the score. Sal, the self-proclaimed World Class Goalie, played in goal for the first half, and then on the field the second. The team ran over to Franny before the start, at half-time and after the game to rub his head for good luck. It was very cute. (Franny tells me I need to get a new word because I say everything is cute. Cutecutecute!!! — Happy now?)

Carlito had a game to referee at the same time as Sal’s, but my dad took him to it since Frank was working and I can’t be in two places at the same time. Dante had a game later that day, too. They won 8-0. Dante plays on a team with a crew of very talented players that are a lot of fun to watch. Some games are very intense, but the Saturday’s was not (see the score), so the boys had some fun. At one point Dante, a mid-fielder, went for the ball over-zelously (not needing to) and he slid out of bounds, into the spectator section. His friend called from the other side of the field, “Dante, don’t you hurt my mom!!”

Saturday night we ordered pizza and watched the Fifa Qualifier between USA and Honduras. Go USA.

Sunday we went to Dante’s game, another 7-0 win. After the game we hit McDonalds, just me and the boys. I had a $20 limit, so we ordered cheap and split fries. Carlito treated us to brownie melts for dessert with some of his referee earnings. Dante and Franny split a brownie, and Sal and I split one. Carlito took a bite of ours, but didn’t buy one for himself. They were pretty well behaved, save for Dante distracting Carlito so that he could quickly fly in and pull his shorts down. He pantsed Lootie coming in, and he got him at the door before we left. Franny exploded in giggles both times.

We met Frank at home and decided to take advantage of a beautiful day by heading to the park for a while. Dante was reluctant, concerned that he’d miss the Uriah Faber/Mike Brown UFC fight. Boys. Frank assured him we would not. Frank brought his poles along and the boys brought a soccer ball. Can’t leave home without a soccer ball. Things have changed a bit, with Franny’s injury. He was the one who would usually instigate a game or activity, since he was always a bundle of energy. I’m thankful for his recovery, even though it is slow, but sometimes am caught off guard and get a bit choked up.

Sal, making some casts. OK, tecnically Frank did the casting, the boys reeled in.

Franny.

On our walk over to the park, we encountered some geese. As we approached I heard what sounded like a cat hissing. It took me a bit before I realized the hissing noise was coming from the goose in our path. What the..? I’ve never encountered a hissing goose before. My eyes and brain needed to make a visual connection to believe it. Mouth open, heeee-heeeesss — yup, it’s the crazy goose!! Freaked me out. As I attempted to snap a picture of the hissing goose, a mother and her children hurredly passed by. “Watch out, kids, they are MEAN. They’ll nip you.” Killer geese.

They boys started messing around with the soccer ball and Franny stood off in the distance, leaning on his crutches watching. I thought we could go to the park nearby to keep his mind off of the things he couldn’t do (like soccer). “Franny, wanna go try the swing?” We made the journey over and sat on the bench for a while, resting his leg and waiting our turn. Franny removed his shoes, and watched as a father pushed his daughter on the tire swing. When they left, we hurried over.

I pushed him cautiously at first, fearful that his cast would hit the ground or that the tire itself would fly off with him riding right on it. Crazy, I know. But as much as Franny is still recovering from being hit (crossing roads are cheap therapy right now), I’m recovering from the blow as well. I am an anxious, freakazoid worrier by nature — the broken leg isn’t helping. I checked my visions of disaster and focused on the cheek-cracking grin splayed across his face.

After the festival of swinging, we parked it at a table and watched the big boys spout testosterone. Franny took the camera and tried to get a shot of me “not noticing” him with the camera. I was forced to feign ignorance of the camera in his hands. My… look at that pretty grass… is that a camera?

Yeah, me and my sexy Fitovers. They aren’t the most attractive sunglasses, but they are convenient and they do the job.

Time to make the trek back. Sal cools off at the water fountain.

Frank.

My menfolk.

(Don’t ask me why Lootie is saluting.)

On the way home, Frank just had to make a couple casts. No, he’s not drunk. Looks are decieving.

Line-killer.

We made it home in time to make chicken tacos and watch hours of cage fighting. I need to get another girl in this house.

(What did YOU do this weekend? Leave me a link!!)

Homecationing

- Groovy Mom 3 Comments

Congratulations to Courtney, she won the book!! There’s more where that came from; just keep checking back.

…

Is anyone else doing nothing this summer? I know summer is the typical time for “vacations” and all that jazz, but we don’t have it like that to take a family vacation to Destination Somewhere this summer (or, well, pretty much ANY summer). We contemplate going up north to my parent’s cabin, but with the prices of gas, we’re looking at $250-$300 round trip in our van. That’s some crazy stuff. Seriously. So, we’ve been trying to make the best of our mosquito-infested, non-vacation taking summer. Baseball games, trips to the public pool, bike rides, etc.

Lists of Five

Anyone else doing Homecationing? Here’s a few suggestions:

  1. Backyard camping – Set up a tent in the backyard (yours or a neighbor’s, if you want to make it more “destination bound.” You can even have backyard fires in most cities. Nothing screams camping like a tent, fire and s’mores. Maybe some swimsuits and a run through the sprinkler in lieu of a watering hole.
  2. Grilling out/picnicking at a local park – We’ve done this many times before. With friends or without. Having a little picnic, even if it isn’t far away, spices things up a bit, breaking the summertime monotony.
  3. Rediscovering the library – For some it is an underused free destination. If you don’t go there, make a point to do so. Ours has a ton of free programs for kids with reading incentives. Carlito just picked up free admission to a baseball game and a State Park for reading X amount of hours so far this summer.
  4. Movie marathon – If you have a weekend, or a couple days off (great rainy-day stuff), rent yourself – better yet, borrow from the library OR note some movie times on TV and catch a couple a day. Pop popcorn, make some fun snacks and make it a special occasion. Watch with friends, watch as a family, or watch alone. But make the event around the show.
  5. Utilize the State Park – if you live in the US, there’s probably a state, city or county park nearby. Many of them have activities throughout the summer (for free or for a minimal amount). Take advantage of the trails, ride your bike or just visit a part of the park you haven’t been to. Combined with a backpack lunch or picnic really makes a mini-vacation out of a simple trip.

Most of the above things can be done for free or for less than $50, which is only a hint of what a regular vacation can cost. Putting an activity on the calendar and sticking to it, as if it were a real vacation, makes it even more of an “event,” something special to look forward to. The simple act of marking a Me Day or Family Day on the calendar and thinking up 3-5 things you’ll do special for yourself/your family, turning off email, phone and centering only on the day together is a vacation in itself.

Thanksgiving

- Groovy Mom Leave a comment

Happy Thanksgiving.

Ours went well, not without a hitch but hey — I never expected things to go smoothly. Earlier this week I couldn’t find sweet potatoes. Finally found some yesterday (at Wal-mart). I put them in the oven to bake, telling the two oldest that when the buzzer goes off to turn the oven off, and went to a friend’s house. Naturally, they forgot (D said, “Oh turn the oven off? I thought you meant turn the buzzer off.”) and my potatoes turned into hollow shells reminiscent of a sweet potato. I placed them cool outside overnight hoping that some of them could be salvaged. Today Franny and I were able to scrape out only a few cups worth of potatoes, so Frank had to make a trip back to Wal-mart (naturally open on Thanksgiving, of coarse).

Power blew out in the kitchen. Mini crisis/heart attack for that ordeal.

But it all worked out. Food was cooked, company came, we ate and were merry. I was hoping to play some board games, but everyone is just tuckered out.

Snagged this from Robyn:

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