The Child Whisperer

We watch The Dog Whisperer. Not with any consistency, but if it is on, I’ll leave the channel there. I’m completely not a “dog person” but for some reason, the way Ceasar Millan is able to take a little shifty punk-headed canine and whoop it into shape with a Shhht!! and a smile makes me be like, daaaaaaang.

I need me a Child Whisperer. Send me that and I’ll be your slave for a month. I mean I try the whole Shhhtt!! thing with my kids, but they’re onto me since they’ve seen the show. Strangely, they’ll actually sometimes pay me mind, though when I do it. Whining? Shhhtt!! and they give me a look, sometimes echo my Shhhtt!!-ing, but they often will Shhhtt!! it.

Go figure.

Wacky Beauty Tips That Work

I can’t claim to have tried ALL of these. But some of them look rather interesting. My notes are in RED.

1) Powder Your Roots
If your hairline starts to look greasy, dig up a big, fluffy makeup brush, and dip it into a pot of loose powder. Tap it once on the back of your hand to remove the excess, then dust it over your roots. It mops up oil and blends into your strands, so no one will know you didn’t shower. 2) Scent Strands with Perfume
Spray a light shot of fragrance into your brush’s bristles. Run it through strands from roots to ends and your hair will smell amazing throughout the day. Did this years ago – read it in a teen mag. I don’t remember it working “amazingly” – but maybe it was my hair.

3) Cure Calluses with Vaseline
Slather on the petroleum jelly, and put on socks before bed to dissolve tough calluses overnight. I do this often. It doesn’t “cure” calluses, but it does soften the feetsies.

4) Spot-Treat Smudges
Dip a cotton swab in eye-makeup remover, and trace it along your lids to erase any slipups or goofs when there’s no time to redo your whole look.

5) Fix a Flushed Face
If you turn red and stay that way after exercising (like seriously red for hours, even though you’re healthy and hydrated), take an antihistamine like Benadryl when you leave the gym to reduce redness. Umm… Benadryl can make you extremely sleepy. Probably not the best idea in the bag.

6) Soften Your Bod with Avocado
Take a ripe avocado, remove the pit and skin, and mash it up in a bowl. Slather it all over your body, let it sit for 20 minutes, then rinse off. Your skin will be sooo soft — avocado is a natural moisturizer. Waste. Eat it. Avacado’s good for your body.

7) Super-Glue a Nail
Instead of tearing off your nail when it breaks, put a tiny dab of Super Glue over the split, and paint a generous layer of your favorite nail polish shade over it. Go for an opaque option (like red, purple, or coral) to camouflage and seal the crack. Done it. Works, at least with artificial nails.

8) Use Makeup Remover on Stubborn Lipstick
Don’t try to rub off red lipstick (which makes it smear across your mouth — not so sexy). Instead, take a cotton ball or tissue, dip it in makeup remover, and just dab to erase the dark stain fast.

9) Tame Brows with Eye Cream
Pat any kind of rich eye cream over brows to help keep them hydrated and banish those icky white specks that look like dandruff. Lotion works fine for this. A good lotion.

10) Buff with Baking Soda
If you find yourself streaking (not glowing) after applying self-tanner, put some baking soda on a loofah, and scrub away the stripes.

11) Brush on Hair Spray
For the final step of your blow-dry, spray hair spray onto your brush, and run it through strands from roots to tips. This way, your ‘do isn’t plastered and stiff but still holds volume and shine.

12) Boost Body Lotion with Baby Oil
If you’re craving shiny legs that aren’t greasy, blend a drop of baby oil into your normal body lotion for extra luster. Done it. Works. But isn’t the greatest for your skin.

13) Dab Essential Oil on a Hangnail
Put on apricot oil, the kind found in health-food stores, to protect cuticles from turning rough and raggedy. You’re probably more likely to have olive oil or canola oil sitting around the house. Use that. OO works GREAT, especially when used daily.

14) Quell a Cold Sore with Cream
When a cold sore is coming on, dab a bit of thick moisturizer, like Aquaphor, over it to prevent it from getting worse.

15) Freeze Your Eyeliner
If the tip of your eyeliner pencil crumbles and smears on your lids, store the liner in the freezer for 15 minutes before use so the tip is firm and goes across your skin smoothly.

16) Use Toothpaste on a Zit
Use just a pea-size amount. Let sit for 15 minutes to absorb the oil so the pimple won’t get more clogged, then wash off. Done it. Works OK.

17) Heat Up Your Curler
If you have stick-straight lashes, try blasting your metal eyelash curler with a hair dryer for a couple of seconds to heat it up so your lashes bend more easily. And use a waterproof mascara. The formula dries faster than other mascaras, so it sets the curl more effectively. Done it. Be careful, ’cause hot metal can be pretty painful on your eyelid, eyeball…

18) Use Soap Without Water
You know those fancy bars that are actually too pretty to use? Toss them in your underwear or tee-shirt drawers to make your skin smell delicious. Done it. Works.

19) Groom Brows with a Toothbrush
Mist an (unused!) toothbrush or eyebrow comb with hair spray to help flatten and tame unruly brows. Done it. Works.

20) Put Diaper-Rash Cream on Dry Spots
Slather on a thick layer of diaper-rash cream to heal cracked elbows and feet. Use Vaseline, if you must.

21) Lubricate Your Lashes
An easy way to draw attention to your eyes without putting on a pile of makeup is to comb petroleum jelly lightly through the tips of eyelashes to get a sexy, subtle sparkle. Hmm.

22) Steamroll Flyaways
Spray on hair spray, then roll the can over your strands. The round bottle fits the curved shape of your head, locks in the spray, and flattens out frizz.

23) Spike Lotion with Bronzer
If you don’t have time to book a self-tanning session, mix a few pumps of body bronzer with regular hand lotion and pat it on your legs for a gradual dose of sexy, beachy color.

24) Air-Dry Your Curls
Let your hair dry indoors before going out in the cold. The curls will be really bouncy and piecey-perfect. Done it. Not sure there’s any magic to it.

25) Press a Tea Bag on Splotches
If your skin is sensitive or just looking irritated and puffy for some reason, steep a bag of green tea for a minute or two, let it cool down, and dab it over your face. The antioxidants in the tea take down inflammation. Rooibos might work better. Not sure.

26) Shave with Conditioner
Ran out of shaving cream? Do double duty by coating your stems with a thick hair conditioner. It softens the hair so it’s easier to shave off and makes legs feel amazingly silky. Done it. Wouldn’t recommend it. Would use baby oil instead. I know I said it isn’t the best for your skin, but… whatever.

27) Amp Shine with Vinegar
Mix one part vinegar with four parts carbonated water, and soak dry hair. Leave on for 15 minutes before you shampoo to lock in shine and combat dullness. Might just use a vinegar rinse instead. With regular water.

28) Exfoliate Your Pits
If your underarms start to look dry and flaky, an easy trick is to exfoliate them with a gentle face scrub to keep that skin pretty when going sleeveless.

29) Customize Your Body Lotion
Instead of shelling out for an expensive perfumed body product, you can make your own by pouring a few drops of fragrance into any scent-free lotion. Rub it on — the scent will last for hours. NOT a good idea – you need to make SURE the fragrance oil you’re using is body safe. Putting some potpourri oil in your lotion in your body lotion is a bad idea. Stick to scented lotions instead.

30) “Brush” with Mouthwash
If you’re too wiped out after a late night of partying to clean your teeth, rinse with water and mouthwash, then use a dry toothbrush on the area where your teeth hit your gums. How is this any easier than brushing your teeth? Not sure. If you’re out of paste, this sounds pretty darn good, though. Or baking soda.

31) Make an Egg-White Mask
To revive tired, dull skin without hitting the spa table, try this: Crack open an egg in a bowl, separate the yolk, and use the egg whites to make a face mask. The proteins help to heal and restore skin’s moisture. Leave it on for five minutes, then rinse off.

32) Dry Sensitive Skin with T.P.
Instead of drying your face with a scratchy towel, pat with toilet paper — it’s ultrasoft on delicate skin (and bums!). Probably would stick to your face just like it does to your… Better yet, just pat your face with a towel.

Source

Make Your Own Fabreeze

There are recipes all over the internet for making your own natural Fabreeze/air/fabric freshener spray. Here is a super simple one that I found, like and actually use:

1 cup plain water
1 cup white vinegar

1/2 teaspoon vegetable glycerin*
1/2 teaspoon essential oil (for scent)

Put vinegar and water into 16oz spray bottle, mix glycerin and essential oil, pour into spray bottle; shake. You can double the recipe to make more, of coarse.

I have not made this without scent, but you could try it plain if scents bother you, using purely as an odor neutralizer. If you do, let me know how it works. I do notice that when you first spray it, you can definitely smell the vinegar. But after about 20 minutes the vinegar smell dissipates and the fragrance remains. The blend I’ve used is lavender EO (Essential Oil) and vanilla FO (Fragrance Oil) — leftovers from soapmaking (the vanilla oil I used was synthetic).

I use vinegar in place of liquid fabric softener (YES IT WORKS), and I also used the glycerin/fragrance oil combo in my vinegar. To use vinegar as a fabric softener, you do not add water, but just use straight, white vinegar. I haven’t found any scent combo to have much “staying power” when using the vinegar as a fabric softener. I’m guessing that synthetic softeners have a boatload of fragrance in them. I’m a bit skeptical, thinking that adding that much fragrance to vinegar could damage the clothes somehow. But I may try it on some old towels. Maybe. I just wouldn’t waste oodles of quality EO in my vinegar rinse. It would be rather costly.

*The glycerin works as a “carrier” for the EO, helping it to emulsify with the water/vinegar solution.

Flesh Eating Fish Pedicure

Does filing, shaving and sanding scare you away from a pedicure? Have no worries!! You can now instead let tiny carp fishies nibble your tootsies.

Fish pedicures are creating something of a splash in the Washington D.C. area, where a northern Virginia spa has been offering them for the past four months. John Ho, who runs the Yvonne Hair and Nails salon with his wife, Yvonne Le, said 5,000 people have taken the plunge so far.

He said he wanted to come up with something unique while finding a replacement for pedicures that use razors to scrape off dead skin. The razors have fallen out of favor with state regulators because of concerns about whether they’re sanitary. – AP

… Interesting, no? I’m not entirely sure how carp eating your foot flesh is more sanitary, seeing as you can’t sanitize the mouths or bodies of the fish. Nor can you change the fact that fish defecate in the water, possibly while they are snacking on your dead skin. But you know, hey. To each their own. As much as it kind of grodies me out, it also… well, I would maybe give it a go. Apparently it works.

Spraying For Mosquitoes

My goodness the mosquitoes around here are atrocious. It is nearly impossible for me to water my plants. I have one hand on the hose, the other swatting away swarms of the nasty little vampires from my arms, face, legs, neck… It is miserable. My lackadaisical days of planting peppers, tomatoes, lettuce and spinach has turned into frantically watering 2 tomato pots (1 is near looking pretty badly) and 2 pepper pots. It is not enjoyable.

In years past, the mosquitoes have been the same. Horrendous. People come to the door, ring the bell and you can see them flailing their arms in a loose attempt to keep the bugs away as the wait desperately for someone to answer the door. It is comical and guilt-ensuing at the same time. You wait a beat, watch and stifle a giggle, then open the door and shoo them in, the poor things.

So I’m thinking of spraying. We are prisoners in our own home, unable to enjoy the outdoors at all. I worry about spraying, the chemicals, yadda yadda, but I still contemplate spraying. It is either that, or hovel in the house most of the day or waste gas driving to areas of the city where the mosquitoes are more sparse.

Anyone else succomb to spraying?

(Side note – we had/have an electric zapper. Doesn’t work.)

Simple Parable

Got this in a FWD at work; thought it a nice parable.

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said,

‘Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.’

The Lord led the holy man to two doors.

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man’s mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, ‘You have seen Hell.’

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man’s mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, ‘I don’t understand.’

‘It is simple,’ said the Lord. ‘It requires but one skill. You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.’

– Author Unknown