Yesterday’s breakfast: oatmeal pancakes, parmesan garlic eggs, sausages.

Well. Technically today’s breakfast as well, since I just chowed down on some leftovers before the boys devoured them all. Everything was good, except for the eggs. They weren’t so good second day. I put a little dollop of plain yogurt and some maple syrup on my pancakes (like my mom used to do). Yummy.

Today is (technically) the first day of school, though it feels nearly like any other, since nobody in this house is going to school today. Lootie is a sophomore, and only freshmen go the first day. The twins are in 8th grade, and only the 6th graders attend the first day. So the boys are still stuffed under their comforters, cozy as can be. Which is why I was puzzled at the knots of worry and excitement in my tummy. Spring and fall always do this to me. Anxieties. Weirdness. It is a reminder of the passage of time, something I nearly always want to slow down.

We dropped Dante off for college yesterday, just Frank and I. This time it was “for real” – the others were just trial runs, really. We moved him in last week, but we knew he was coming home the following weekend for the holiday, to see his girlfriend off, and to pick up things he might have forgotten. This time, though, this was the real deal. We don’t have any set plans of when we’ll pick him up. He’s starting school today. He’s officially a college student.

I am incredibly happy, proud, excited (for him), and have a million flutters of great joy. It is all overshadowed by sadness. Not true sadness. Just greif. Maybe how people feel when their daughters go off and get married. Or.. sort of. I’m not sure. But I know I just have to work through this to get to the other side, because this experience is an amazing one for him. But I miss my little boy. You turn a corner when you send them to kindergarten, and then you turn another one when you send them to college. It’s a big milestone.

Franny slept in Dante’s bed last night. I kind of felt like doing the same thing. I didn’t, though. Really! But I did look around the room, stifled back a sniff. Took a deep breath. That coupled with this being the last year for my youngest before high school. OY. I’m feeling it. Feeling it a lot. Reminding myself to focus on the small moments, stretch time. Be present. All those good phrases that pop out of magazines, books and websites about savoring the moment, yanno.