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December 12, 2005

Basketball Moms

Soccer moms have a bad rap. You know, for being nutty. But in comparison to some other sports? They are tame. But anyway, this year my three youngest boys have gotten into basketball.

Oh. My. Sweet. Lord.

Wanna talk nutty? I've never seen such insane, annoying sports parents. Good grief. And we're talking first grade b-ball, honey. Prime example: Clipboard Dad. He carries a clipboard with him, up and down the sidelines calling out, go son - go kid, take it all the way, work that defence boooooooi... Mind you, his kid was just SUBBING on our team that day. And dad isn't the coach of our team. Yeah. I had to move three times because his tall butt was blocking my view. I guess he felt it was more important for him to see.

Then there's the middle class mom clique. 8am. Caked with make-up, chocolottaskinny$5latte gripped in their manicured hands. They don't even know the game (... was that a touchdown?) but stand there looking pretty and supportive, but out of place wearing their heels and fur-trimmed vests in the YMCA gym. And if they ever open their mouth to cheer their kid on, name that always comes out is in the top 5 of the Ten Most Popular Baby Names list.

My final example of nutty, weird sports parent? Dude last week who, after the game, came over to have the after-the-game wrap up with his son. First grade son. He crouches down to talk to the boy, and at the same time I notice him taking off a pair of basketball shoes and putting on a pair of running shoes. Since... you know, it was time to go and everyone knows that you have to bring the sport appropriate shoe attire with to the game. No. He was NOT the coach. I was so embarrassed for him I had to divert my stunned expression to the wood grains in the court floor.

These examples were from the first graders division. The team we played last week had offensive and defensive coaches. Yeaaaah.

I'm thinking, in America, football parents are probably the worst. But I haven't experienced that one first hand yet. Dads in their belted shorts and polo shirts so closely matched with the coach's apparel that you can hardly tell who is spectator and who is supposed to be with the team.

Aaaah people watching is fun.